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Outline

The Hurt Feelings Report form is designed to provide individuals with a structured way to express and document their emotional distress. This form, which must be physically submitted to a law enforcement officer, serves several purposes. It aims to assist those who feel wronged—referred to in a light-hearted manner as "whiners"—in seeking sympathy and support. The form requires basic administrative data, such as the name, age, and sex of the individual reporting their feelings, along with details about the incident that caused the hurt. Key sections include a narrative portion where individuals can describe their experiences, as well as a checklist for various types of emotional injuries. The report also humorously addresses the potential for “permanent feeling damage” and even offers options for supplemental support, such as a comforting “hugger” or other comforting items. While the tone may be playful, the underlying message emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and validating feelings. This article will explore the various components of the Hurt Feelings Report form, its intended use, and the broader implications of emotional well-being in our communities.

Sample - Hurt Feelings Report Form

HURT FEELINGS REPORT

To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer

DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974

AUTHORITY: PRINCIPAL PURPOSE:

ROUTINE USES:

DISCLOSURE:

S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 USC 3013 and a log of other regulations too To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings

Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares

Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term

PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA

A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI)

B. WHINER'S AGE

C. WHINER'S SEX

D. DATE OF REPORT

E. TYPE OF WHINE USED

F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM

PART II - INCIDENT REPORT

A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT

B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS

C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS

D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses)

E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS

F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE

G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT

PART III - INJURY

(Circle all that apply)

1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO?

2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?

 

LEFT

RIGHT

 

BOTH

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS?

 

4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?

YES

NO

MULTIPLE

 

YES

NO

MAYBE

 

 

PART IV - REASON FOR

FILING THIS REPORT

 

 

 

 

 

(Mark all that apply)

 

 

 

I am thin skinned

 

 

The Dept needs to fix my problems

 

Two beers is not enough

 

 

I am a wimp

 

 

My feelings are easily hurt

 

My hands should be in my pockets

 

I have woman / man-like hormones

 

I didn't sign up for this

 

I was not offered a tissue

 

 

I am a crybaby

 

 

I was told that I am not a hero

 

Someone requested a tissue

 

 

I want my mommy

 

 

The weather is too cold

 

All of the above and more

 

NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared)

PART V - AUTHENTICATION

A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too)

B. SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?)

C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here) D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!)

We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.

Form Information

Fact Name Fact Description
Purpose of the Form This form is designed to assist individuals in documenting their hurt feelings.
Privacy Act Compliance The form complies with the Privacy Act of 1974, ensuring that personal data is handled appropriately.
Submission Requirement The completed form must be physically handed to a law enforcement officer for processing.
Voluntary Disclosure While disclosure of information is voluntary, excessive use of the form may result in derogatory labeling.
Incident Reporting Part II of the form requires details about the incident, including date, time, and location of hurtful comments.
Types of Injuries Part III allows individuals to circle applicable injuries, including emotional and physical responses.
State-Specific Forms Some states may have specific laws governing the use of such forms; users should consult local regulations.
Support Availability The department offers supplemental support, including "huggers" and comfort items, upon request.

Detailed Guide for Filling Out Hurt Feelings Report

After completing the Hurt Feelings Report form, submit it directly to a Law Enforcement Officer. The officer will review the report and determine the next steps based on the information provided.

  1. Begin with Part I - Administrative Data. Fill in the following:
    • Whiner's Name (Last, First, MI)
    • Whiner's Age
    • Whiner's Sex
    • Date of Report
    • Type of Whine Used
    • Name of the Person Filling Out This Form
  2. Proceed to Part II - Incident Report. Provide details about the incident:
    • Date Feelings Were Hurt
    • Time of Hurtfulness
    • Location of Hurtful Comments
    • Was Anyone Sympathetic to Whiner? (Include paid witnesses)
    • Name of Person Who Hurt Your Feelings
    • How Long Did You Whine?
    • Which Feelings Were Hurt?
  3. Next, complete Part III - Injury. Circle all that apply:
    • Which Ear Were the Hurtful Words Spoken Into? (Left, Right, Both)
    • Is There Permanent Feeling Damage? (Yes, No, Maybe)
    • Did You Require a "Tissue" for Tears?
    • Has This Resulted in a Traumatic Brain Injury? (Yes, No, Multiple, Maybe)
  4. Then, move to Part IV - Reason for Filing This Report. Mark all that apply:
    • I am thin-skinned
    • The Dept needs to fix my problems
    • Two beers is not enough
    • I am a wimp
    • My feelings are easily hurt
    • My hands should be in my pockets
    • I have woman/man-like hormones
    • I didn't sign up for this
    • I was not offered a tissue
    • I am a crybaby
    • I was told that I am not a hero
    • Someone requested a tissue
    • I want my mommy
    • The weather is too cold
    • All of the above and more
  5. Finally, complete Part V - Authentication:
    • Printed Reporter Name (optional)
    • Signature
    • Printed Whiner Name
    • Signature of Whiner

Obtain Answers on Hurt Feelings Report

  1. What is the purpose of the Hurt Feelings Report form?

    The Hurt Feelings Report form is designed to help individuals document their feelings when they believe they have been wronged. It provides a structured way for someone to express their hurt and seek sympathy from others. While it may seem lighthearted, the form aims to address emotional distress in a way that encourages communication and support.

  2. Who can fill out this form?

    Anyone who feels their feelings have been hurt can fill out this form. The form requires basic information about the individual, including their name, age, and the details of the incident. It's important to remember that the form should be submitted to a law enforcement officer in person.

  3. What information do I need to provide on the form?

    The form consists of several sections, each requiring specific details:

    • Administrative data such as your name, age, and sex.
    • The date and time when your feelings were hurt.
    • The location of the incident and the person who hurt your feelings.
    • Details about whether anyone offered sympathy and how long you felt upset.
    • A section to circle any injuries or emotional damage you believe you may have sustained.
  4. What happens after I submit the form?

    Once the form is submitted to a law enforcement officer, it will be reviewed. The department takes hurt feelings seriously and may take steps to provide support. This could include sending a "hugger" to offer comfort or, in more extreme cases, dispatching an EMS team for additional assistance. The goal is to ensure that your feelings are acknowledged and that you receive the care you need.

  5. Can I remain anonymous when filing this report?

Common mistakes

Filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form can be a straightforward process, but many people make mistakes that can complicate their experience. One common error is failing to provide complete information in the administrative data section. This includes not filling in the whiner's name, age, or sex. Incomplete information can lead to delays in processing the report and may result in the report being deemed invalid. Always ensure that all required fields are filled out accurately to avoid unnecessary complications.

Another frequent mistake is neglecting to specify the details of the incident in Part II. Whiners often leave out critical information, such as the date and time when their feelings were hurt or the location of the hurtful comments. This lack of detail can make it difficult for law enforcement to understand the context of the situation. Providing clear and concise information helps convey the seriousness of the incident and ensures that the report is taken seriously.

Some individuals also struggle with the narrative section of the form. Instead of clearly articulating how their feelings were hurt, they may provide vague or overly dramatic descriptions. This can lead to misunderstandings and may diminish the impact of their report. It's important to express feelings honestly and directly, focusing on the specifics of the incident rather than embellishing the story. This approach not only makes the report more effective but also helps in receiving the appropriate support.

Finally, a significant mistake occurs when individuals forget to sign the report. This oversight can render the entire form invalid. Both the reporter and the whiner must provide their signatures to authenticate the document. Without these signatures, the report may not be processed, leaving the individual without the support they seek. Always double-check that all signatures are included before submitting the form to ensure it is complete and valid.

Documents used along the form

The Hurt Feelings Report form is a unique document that allows individuals to express their emotional grievances in a structured manner. However, it is often accompanied by other forms and documents that serve various purposes related to emotional well-being, support, and documentation. Below is a list of some commonly used documents that may complement the Hurt Feelings Report form.

  • Incident Report Form: This form captures detailed accounts of incidents that may have caused emotional distress. It includes information about the date, time, location, and individuals involved, providing a comprehensive overview of the situation.
  • Witness Statement Form: This document allows witnesses to provide their perspective on the incident. Witnesses can describe what they observed, which may help validate the claims made in the Hurt Feelings Report.
  • Emotional Support Request Form: Individuals can use this form to formally request emotional support services. It outlines the type of support needed, such as counseling or therapy, and helps organizations respond appropriately to those in need.
  • Self-Reflection Questionnaire: This tool encourages individuals to reflect on their feelings and reactions. It can help them gain insights into their emotional responses and consider coping strategies moving forward.
  • Grievance Form: This form is designed for individuals who wish to formally lodge a complaint regarding their treatment or the incident that caused their hurt feelings. It provides a structured way to express dissatisfaction and seek resolution.
  • Support Group Registration Form: For those seeking community support, this document allows individuals to sign up for support groups. It fosters a sense of belonging and connection with others who may have experienced similar feelings.
  • Follow-Up Assessment Form: After an individual has reported their feelings, this form can be used to assess their emotional state over time. It helps track progress and determine if further support is necessary.

These forms and documents work together to create a supportive environment for individuals navigating their emotional challenges. By utilizing these resources, individuals can better articulate their feelings, seek assistance, and foster healing in a structured manner.

Similar forms

The Hurt Feelings Report form shares similarities with several other documents that aim to address personal grievances or emotional distress. Below is a list of six documents that are comparable, highlighting their similarities:

  • Incident Report Form: Like the Hurt Feelings Report, this form is used to document specific incidents that cause distress. It includes details about the event, parties involved, and the impact on the individual.
  • Complaint Form: This document allows individuals to formally express dissatisfaction regarding treatment or actions taken against them. Both forms seek to record feelings and experiences for further consideration.
  • Grievance Form: Similar to the Hurt Feelings Report, a grievance form is used to file complaints about workplace issues. Both documents aim to highlight emotional impacts and seek resolution or acknowledgment.
  • Feedback Form: This form gathers opinions about experiences and feelings related to a service or event. Like the Hurt Feelings Report, it encourages individuals to express their emotional responses to specific situations.
  • Emotional Support Request Form: This document is used to request assistance for emotional distress. It parallels the Hurt Feelings Report by addressing feelings and the need for support from others.
  • Personal Reflection Journal: While more informal, this journal serves a similar purpose by allowing individuals to document their feelings and experiences. Both encourage self-expression and acknowledgment of emotional states.

Dos and Don'ts

When filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form, it is important to approach the process with care and consideration. Here are some guidelines to follow:

  • Do provide accurate personal information, including your name, age, and date of the incident.
  • Don't exaggerate your feelings or the incident. Honesty is crucial.
  • Do include specific details about the incident, such as the time and location.
  • Don't leave sections blank. Complete all required fields to avoid delays.
  • Do express your feelings clearly in the narrative section.
  • Don't use offensive language or insults when describing the situation.

Following these guidelines can help ensure that your report is taken seriously and processed efficiently. Remember, this is about addressing your feelings in a constructive manner.

Misconceptions

Misconceptions about the Hurt Feelings Report form often arise from misunderstandings about its purpose and use. Here are ten common misconceptions, clarified for better understanding:

  1. This form is a legitimate legal document. Many believe the Hurt Feelings Report is a formal legal document. In reality, it is more of a satirical commentary than an official legal form.
  2. It is designed to file complaints against serious offenses. Some think this form is for serious grievances. However, it is intended to address trivial matters and express feelings rather than to lodge formal complaints.
  3. Submitting the form guarantees a response from law enforcement. There is a misconception that filing this report will prompt an official investigation. In truth, it is unlikely to elicit any formal response.
  4. It is mandatory to fill out the form for hurt feelings. People might think they must use this form whenever they feel slighted. In fact, it is entirely voluntary and meant for those who wish to express their feelings humorously.
  5. The report is taken seriously by law enforcement. Many assume that law enforcement officers treat these reports with the utmost seriousness. However, the tone of the form suggests a more lighthearted approach to handling hurt feelings.
  6. All information provided is confidential. Some may believe that their submissions are confidential. While personal data is collected, the nature of the form suggests that it may not be treated with the same confidentiality as traditional legal documents.
  7. It can be used for any type of emotional distress. There is a notion that this form applies to all emotional distress situations. In reality, it is specifically geared toward minor grievances and not serious emotional issues.
  8. Using the form will result in professional help. Individuals might think that submitting this report will lead to professional counseling or support. However, the form is more of a joke than a means to access mental health services.
  9. The form is a serious attempt to address mental health. Some view it as a legitimate mental health resource. In truth, it is not intended to provide real psychological support.
  10. It promotes a culture of accountability. There is a belief that this form encourages accountability for hurtful behavior. Instead, it seems to foster a culture of mockery regarding emotional responses.

Understanding these misconceptions can help clarify the intent behind the Hurt Feelings Report form. It serves more as a humorous reflection on societal attitudes towards emotional sensitivity than as a serious legal instrument.

Key takeaways

Filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form requires careful attention to detail. Here are key takeaways to consider:

  • Physical Submission Required: The form must be handed directly to a Law Enforcement Officer.
  • Privacy Act Compliance: Understand that the form is subject to the Privacy Act of 1974, which governs how your data is handled.
  • Document Your Feelings: Use the form to clearly document the incident that caused your hurt feelings.
  • Be Honest: Provide accurate information about yourself and the situation. This includes your name, age, and the specifics of the incident.
  • Sympathy Matters: The purpose of the form is to seek sympathy. Ensure you detail any sympathetic responses you received.
  • Incident Details: Fill out the sections regarding the date, time, and location of the hurtful comments.
  • Injury Assessment: Circle any applicable injuries, including whether you need a tissue for tears or if you believe there is permanent feeling damage.
  • Reason for Filing: Mark all reasons that apply to your situation; this helps convey the seriousness of your feelings.
  • Narrative Section: Use this area to express your feelings in your own words, even if it seems trivial.

By keeping these takeaways in mind, you can effectively communicate your feelings through the Hurt Feelings Report form.